A Normal night out in Germany

Shortly after been posted to  Germany about 93/94 Myself and the fine gentlemen of the Mortar platoon decided to soak up the culture of our new home and headed to the local town of Osnabrück. Osnabrück is a city in the federal state of Lower-Saxony in north-west Germany. It is situated in a valley penned between the Wiehen Hills and the northern tip of the Teutoburg Fore and has some of the finest eateries Europe had to offer and an amazing collection of museums churches dating back  to the 12th century with its cobbled streets and historic homes it was a true travellers paradise  however as a young soldier we had different ideas of was a good city was we needed a good pub that sold great German Beer. The journey into town was eventful  we had ordered a Taxi  for the 5 of us however the driver was very reluctant to let 4 of us in the back of his cream Mercedes Benz,

We  explained to the Taxi driver  that it was okay and he should not have worried as one of the lads was only small and he would not mind  traveling in the boot ,That was the first problem solved the men of Mortar platoon were becoming very good at diplomacy and world affairs in our new country and not once did anyone mention who did, in fact, win the war. 

The unofficial leader of the group. was who ever sat in the front (Bri) then requested how much would this would cost , the driver said it would cost about 20 Marks so with Brains  experience of wit and banter coming from a seaside town of Scarborough and knowing every trick in the book the haggling started  20 marks that's far too expensive, in the back and the boot we all started shouting   10,10, 10, to which the driver replied Nine Nine Nine,  Well that was it the price was agreed 9 marks it was. This was becoming a very great place to live. The journey consisted of our broken German asking the taxi driver the normal questions of how long he had been working and where is the red light district was.

 On arriving at the pub called  Soc and shoes, we all exited the taxi, we could hear the music  blaring out of the bar all 5 of us were getting excited to see the felines and to try a nice German beer, German beer is by far one of the best I have ever drunk its served in a large tower glass known as Weizen glass its brewed with wheat and comes very cloudy like a scrumpy English cider and takes a while for each pint to be pulled to get the perfect pint. However we had not even got into the pub and Bri and the driver seemed to be in some sort of disagreement as we investigated I could hear my good well-educated friend say you said it was Nine mark we agreed on the price, he informed the very smart taxi driver who was now standing outside his car. In the best queen's English, he told us that Nein meant NO not Nine and the price was 20 DMs. Well looked at each other and laughed and walked into the pub he seemed happy about his 9DM. 

The Pub was something else it was just full German girls all over dancing on the bar on the tables all looking like Porn stars or as if there had just come back from Oktoberfest this was unreal was I in heaven Well that not 100% true you see i never let the truth get in the way of a good story . I was in a pub in Germany but forget the last bit it was full of the opposite, it was full of lads from our battalion who all had the same idea as us. At the Bar were 3 felines who I would not like to meet in a dark alley there had arms the size of a powerlifter, this was a cockfest,   however there was no doubt at all the all the Germany ladies in the Sub would be going back to the block with some fortunate Green Howard that night however little did I know that 2 of these ladies would also get married to my fellow brothers in arms and i would see them time and time again over the next few year. Germany was also good for free beer when you got a pint the bartender would simple mark your beermat so after a few beers you just changed your beer matt, this was soon stopped and we had to pay for a beer each time, all good things come to an end.

So we drank into the night and enjoyed our new surroundings and with it been the international army drinking night (Thursday) we still had work the next day so roundabout oneish we jump in a Taxi, however, this time it was a 7 seater we all headed back to camp as we were driving, the Taxi  driver started going mental and going all over the road brining the taxi a sharp halt making us all fly over the Taxi, he jumped out and started to give it Mickle Jackson impressions dancing all over, he then started taking his jumper off screaming saying he had been set on fire, What had happened was someone who.... to this day no one had admitted to had put a cigarette  out of the driver’s window and it had apparently  blow back in and went down the back of his shirt and caused a small burn likely story I know however he was after a lot more than this (compo)

As we all debussed we stood around waiting to see if he was going to take us to camp or would we have to walk the rest of the way we had all drank far too much and in all the confusion and disarray some shouted Legs, so that was it we ran in all directions  jumping  over gardens through tiny streets past car salesrooms, back over more gardens, I had ended up with a member of the platoon who was not noted for his map reading skills and after about 25 minutes and  3 miles later we started to slow down  get our breathing back to normal  and look like any local  person who was out at this time of the morning walking around town, we casually walked around the corner to be meet with lots of flashing blue lights on top of green and white police cars and a 7 seater taxi with a driver who was now doing an impression of extra from London’s burning he could of won a Oscar with his outstanding acting, We had done a complete full circle and ended back where we had started,  Cuffs on and back to Belfast Barracks curtesy  of the ever so helpful RMP  I would get to know a few of these lads over the next few years, we all ended up with a large fine for out antics that night, however, this was day one of a 6 year posting I don’t think it was going to be a  quite posting in Germany.